


Unicorns and Donkeys and Vodka, Oh My.

by ermengarde



Category: Adam Lambert - Fandom, GlamRPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-02
Updated: 2011-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 00:53:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermengarde/pseuds/ermengarde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Tommy is not an anime unicorn and everyone is only texting because they're bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unicorns and Donkeys and Vodka, Oh My.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [litsasecret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/litsasecret/gifts).



> This is ridiculous (which is not a surprise for anyone that knows me, I suspect) and contains text messages with all their associated spelling and grammatical woes. Inspired by litsasecret (although given that I don’t know why, there’s no way SHE knows) – keep tweeting words beb ;).
> 
> Thank you to angelnetgirl for the read through and for being you. ILU.
> 
> It is less odd than the pocket cake ninja thing.

Adam’s sitting in his hotel room, waiting until it’s time for him to go down and get the car to the airport. He’s not good at waiting, it makes him restless, but he got up early to have breakfast with everyone before they headed off to L.A. and wherever and now he’s all packed up and ready to go with nothing to do and not enough time to do it in, anyway. His text alert sounds and he grins as he picks up his phone and sees that Tommy’s obviously gotten through security and is now waiting at the gate, bored. Bored Tommy’s one of Adam’s favorite flavors of Tommy.

_I am really fuckin woebegone right now_

Uhh. That doesn’t sound good, but then woebegone’s a really weird word-choice for Tommy so he’s probably quoting something. _Uh, what?_

_WOEBEGONE_

Like the all-caps makes it comprehensible. Adam rolls his eyes and tries a different tack. _Why baby?_

_Twitter_

Twitter used to be fucking awesome – still is sometimes – but it’s like this conduit for crazy people. He keeps telling Tommy not to read his @ replies, but it’s not like he’s not known for lurking, too, so he’s not got any real moral authority to insist.

 _Why is twitter making you woebegone?_ Tommy is: grumpy, neurotic, prone to going off into his own little world and far too fond of sniggering at fart jokes, but seriously? He’s not an anime character (pink hair or not) so woobie-eyed woebegoneness isn’t something Adam can picture on Tommy’s face.

_BECAUSE MY HAIR MAKES ME AN ANIME UNICORN >:(_   


Obviously. Adam doesn’t know quite how to respond, which is fine because Tommy texts again, moments later.

_I’M NOT A FUCKIN VIRGIN. M’NOT FUCKIN WOOBIE EITHER_

_Woebegone = woobie_ because seriously? It totally does.

_DOES FUCKIN NOT. EEYORE IS NOT WOOBIE_

_He’s a donkey, with a detachable tail._

_I have a detachable tail._

Tommy obviously also has vodka. _I know, I bought it for you_

_Eeyores fuckin kick ass_

Adam snorts at the pun. _Yes baby, You’re my kick ass, ass_

_dam straight_

Adam’s phone buzzes before he can compose a response.

_Or bendy. Pink hair. I am AWESOME_

Adam can’t stop laughing. _You don’t suck_

_Only in the way that’s fun at parties_

_Pics or it didn’t happen_

Tommy sends through a close-up of himself sucking the hell out of a drinking straw.

_That doesn’t look very woebegone to me, Eeyore_

Tommy sends through another picture of his mouth, lips stuck out in a pout.

Adam saves it as Tommy’s contact picture on his phone. _Better_

_Get me presents in London_

_Grabby much? Do you want another tail?_

_I got you my hair, you owe me. Nah, you’ll think of something_

_So generous of you. I see you took it back, too_

_Just keeping it safe. London’s dangerous for anime unicorns_

_I’ve heard_

_There are lions and shit_

Adam’s laughing so much it’s actually beginning to hurt. _You’d better keep it safe in LA then_

_I thought so. Shit. Boarding_

_Have a good flight_ Adam tries not to worry about how much Tommy doesn’t like flying and how long the flight will be.

_You too. Thank you_

_:D. See you soon_

_with presents, bitch_

_with presents_

Adam grabs his IPad and starts googling toystores in London. It’s a big city and Winnie the Pooh’s English, so he figures there has to be somewhere that’ll sell him a huge fuck off Eeyore.

([There is.](http://www.disneystore.co.uk/soft-toys-my-friends-tigger-and-pooh-super-giant-eeyore-soft-toy/p/10861/300015/))


End file.
